English Tongue Twisters
tongue twisters

1st International Collection of Tongue Twisters
© 1996-2003 by Michael Reck

Translations and International Tongue twisters are available on Mr Reck's original Site!!!

2 I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop. Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.

3 How many boards Could the Mongols hoard If the Mongol hoards got bored? from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterston

4 How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

5 Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents. by Raymond Weisling

6 Denise sees the fleece, Denise sees the fleas. At least Denise could sneeze and feed and freeze the fleas.

7 Coy knows pseudonoise codes. by Pierre Abbat

8 Sheena leads, Sheila needs.

9 The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

10 Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning. by Meaghan Desbiens

11 Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

12 Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.

13 You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus! From a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson

14 Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.

15 Clean clams crammed in clean cans.

16 Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.

17 I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

18 Stupid superstition!

19 There was a fisherman named Fisher who fished for some fish in a fissure. Till a fish with a grin, pulled the fisherman in. Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

20 World Wide Web

21 To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock In a pestilential prison with a life long lock Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block. by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado

22 Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick. from a commercial

23 If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?

24 Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luke's duck licks lakes. Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes. from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks

25 Seventy seven benevolent elephants harder than it seems

26 There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.

27 Santa's Short Suit Shrunk name of a children's book

28 I was born on a pirate ship Hold your tounge while saying it.

29 I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!

30 Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.

31 In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen. From the film ""My Fair Lady""

32 One-one was a race horse. Two-two was one too. One-one won one race. Two-two won one too.

33 Eleven benevolent elephants

34 Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...

35 Willy's real rear wheel David Bowser in Harrisburg, PA

36 If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years? from Naomi Fletcher's real life

37 Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards

38 Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

39 Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?

40 Pirates Private Property

41 What a terrible tongue twister, what a terrible tongue twister, what a terrible tongue twister...

42 When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ... continued here

43 A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose! by Kitty Morrow

44 Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.

45 Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.

46 Flash message!

47 Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.

48 Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.

49 How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

50 How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.

51 How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.

52 How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.

53 Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me. My mother's making me marry Mary Mac. Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me? Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac? from a song by Great Big Sea (?)

54 Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter ""T"".

55 Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.

56 She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?

57 Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze. That's what made these three free fleas sneeze. from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss

58 Two tried and true tridents

59 rudder valve reversals the cause of some plane crashes

60 Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye. If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.

61 How many cans can a cannibal nibble if a cannibal can nibble cans? As many cans as a cannibal can nibble if a cannibal can nibble cans.

62 A twister of twists once twisted a twist; A twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist; If in twisting a twist one twist should untwist, The untwisted twist would untwist the twist.

63 Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.

64 Four furious friends fought for the phone.

65 Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.

66 Bobby Bippy bought a bat. Bobby Bippy bought a ball. With his bat Bob banged the ball Banged it bump against the wall But so boldly Bobby banged it That he burst his rubber ball ""Boo!"" cried Bobby Bad luck ball Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball Now to drown his many troubles Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles. from mid-Willamette Valley theater

67 Black background, brown background.

68 Why do you cry, Willy? Why do you cry? Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why?

69 Very well, very well, very well ...

70 Tie twine to three tree twigs.

71 Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

72 Mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?

73 Three short sword sheaths.

74 Caution: Wide Right Turns Seen on semi-tractor trailers

75 Rolling red wagons

76 Green glass globes glow greenly.

77 Robert Wayne Rutter personal name

78 I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.

79 When I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could outsaw any other saw I ever saw, saw. If you've got a saw that can outsaw the saw I saw saw then I'd like to see your saw saw.

80 black back bat

81 The queen in green screamed.

82 How many berries could a bare berry carry, if a bare berry could carry berries? Well they can't carry berries (which could make you very wary) but a bare berry carried is more scary!

83 What did you have for breakfast? - rubber balls and liquor! What did you have for lunch? - rubber balls and liquor! What did you have for dinner? - rubber balls and liquor! - rubber balls and liquor!

84 Snap Crackel pop, Snap Crackel pop, Snap Crackel pop

85 Six slimy snails sailed silently.

86 I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

87 Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.

88 Red Buick, blue Buick

89 Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much. by Matt Duchnowski

90 He threw three balls.

91 The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.

92 Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.

93 We're real rear wheels.

94 Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.

95 I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.

96 Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.

97 On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.

98 Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.

99 Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.

100 How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?

101 He threw three free throws.

102 Fresh French fried fly fritters

103 Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...

104 I was born on a pirate ship. Say it while holding your tongue.

105 2 Y's U R. 2 Y's U B. I C U R. 2 Y's 4 me!

106 Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.

107 Eddie edited it.

108 Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Spread it thick, say it quick! Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Spread it thicker, say it quicker! Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Don't eat with your mouth full!

109 Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!

110 The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.

111 I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.

112 Triple Dickle a strong drink

113 How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?

114 Supposed to be pistachio, supposed to be pistachio, supposed to be pistachio. by Diane Estep

115 Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese. from a high school singing class

116 Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall

117 Argyle Gargoyle

118 Peggy Babcock personal name

119 If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts, buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.

120 Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.

121 Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds. by Pierre Abbat

122 Willie's really weary.

123 Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly! by Mistah Twistah, Tony Valuch

124 Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls. by Sharon Johnson

125 Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.

126 John, where Peter had had ""had had"", had had ""had""; ""had had"" had had his master's approval.

127 Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.

128 Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails. from India

129 Double bubble gum, bubbles double.

130 If you can't can any candy can, how many candy cans can a candy canner can if he can can candy cans ?

131 Octopus ocular optics. and A cat snaps a rat's paxwax. by Pierre Abbat

132 This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.

133 Salty broccoli, salty broccoli, salty broccoli ....

134 I saw Esau kissing Kate. I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

135 A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.

136 Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.

137 I eat eel while you peel eel

138 Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.

139 Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.

140 East Fife Four, Forfar Five An actual football result from the Scottish third division

141 Roy Wayne Roy Rogers Roy Rash personal names

142 Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too.

143 It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!

144 She said she should sit.

145 Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Me me mo mi get me a mole, Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Fe me mo mi get me a mole, Mister kister feet so sweet, Mister kister where will I eat !?

146 Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William? Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?

147 I wish you were a fish in my dish

148 She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in. An actor's vocal warmup for lips and tongue.

149 The big black bug bit the big black bear, but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!

150 Dust is a disk's worst enemy.

151 I see a sea down by the seashore. But which sea do you see down by the seashore?

152 She said she should sit!

153 Old Mr. Hunt had a cuddy punt Not a cuddy punt but a hunt punt cuddy.

154 As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.

155 Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.

156 I'm not the fig plucker, Nor the fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck your figs till the fig plucker comes.

157 A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed gradually giving gophers gooey guts.

158 Aluminum, linoleum, aluminum, linoleum, aluminum, linoleum

159 Thin grippy thick slippery.

160 There once was a two toed, she toad, tree toad, and a three toed, he toad, tree toad....

161 The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick

162 The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

163 If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

164 If you understand, say ""understand"". If you don't understand, say ""don't understand"". But if you understand and say ""don't understand"". how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?

165 She sees cheese.

166 Brent Spence Bridge Clay Wade Bailey Bridge places in Ohio

167 Chukotko-Kamchatkan pertaining to the Siberian people living in Kamchatka

168 There those thousand thinkers were thinking where did those other three thieves go through.

169 Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.

170 One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they felt smart. Four smart fellows, they felt smart. Five smart fellows, they felt smart. Six smart fellows, they felt smart.

171 Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.

172 I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!

173 But a harder thing still to do. What a to do to die today At a quarter or two to two. A terrible difficult thing to say But a harder thing still to do. The dragon will come at the beat of the drum With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to At a quarter or two to two today, At a quarter or two to two. From a college drama class

174 Love's a feeling you feel when you feel you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.

175 Silly sheep weep and sleep.

176 Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...

177 A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.

178 I know a boy named Tate who dined with his girl at eight eight. I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.

179 I saw a saw in Arkansas, that would outsaw any saw I ever saw, and if you got a saw that will outsaw the saw I saw in Arkansas let me see your saw.

180 The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.

181 Real weird rear wheels by Michael Dworkin and Bill Harvey

182 I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

183 A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.

184 Knife and a fork bottle and a cork that is the way you spell New York. Chicken in the car and the car can go, that is the way you spell Chicago.

185 Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.

186 Two to two to Toulouse?

187 Swatch watch

188 Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.

189 Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

190 Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood

191 I'm a saw cutter and I cut socks. I'm a saw cutter and I cut socks. I'm a saw cutter and I cut socks.

192 If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?

193 We won, we won, we won, we won, ...

194 Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday. by Julia Dicum

195 How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?

196 How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws? by Jillian Goetz

197 As he gobbled the cakes on his plate, the greedy ape said as he ate, the greener green grapes are, the keener keen apes are to gobble green grape cakes, they're great! from Dr. Seuss's O Say Can You Say?

198 How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle? A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.

199 Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.

200 Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.

201 A fly and flea flew into a flue, said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?' 'let us fly' said the flea said the fly 'shall we flee' so they flew through a flaw in the flue.

202 How much dew does a dewdrop drop If dewdrops do drop dew? They do drop, they do As do dewdrops drop If dewdrops do drop dew.

203 If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.

204 Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.

205 But she as far surpasseth Sycorax, As great'st does least. Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in ""The Tempest"", by William Shakespeare

206 Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.

207 She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.

208 Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?

209 Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.

210 Mummies make money.

211 Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.

212 An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.

213 A black bloke's back brake-block broke.

214 This is a zither.

215 Fresh fried fish, Fish fresh fried, Fried fish fresh, Fish fried fresh.

216 There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.

217 Really leery, rarely Larry.

218 Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.

219 Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.

220 Her whole right hand really hurts. difficult in Brazil

221 Come, come, Stay calm, stay calm, No need for alarm, It only hums, It doesn't harm.

222 Tie a knot, tie a knot. Tie a tight, tight knot. Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.

223 Red blood, green blood

224 I'm a sheet slitter. I slit sheets. I'm the sleekest sheet slitter that ever slit sheets.

225 Round the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran.

226 Busy buzzing bumble bees.

227 A lump of red leather, a red leather lump

228 Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.

229 I shot the city sheriff. I shot the city sheriff. I shot the city sheriff.

230 A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street. ""Are you copper-bottoming them, my man?"" ""No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mum""

231 I am not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son but I'll be plucking pheasants When the pheasant plucker's gone.

232 Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop. All day long she sits and shines, all day long she shines and sits, and sits and shines, and shines and sits, and sits and shines, and shines and sits. Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. All day long he fits and tucks, all day long he tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. sung by Ian Mackintosh

233 Preshrunk silk shirts.

234 Craig Quinn's quick trip to Crabtree Creek.

235 Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.

236 While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.

237 Peggy Babcock

238 A big black bear sat on a big black bug.

239 A bloke's bike back brake block broke.

240 Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.

241 Betty Botter bought some butter but she said the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter. So, she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter and she put it in her batter and her batter was not bitter. So 'twas good that Betty Botter bought some better butter.

242 How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?

243 Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood.

244 No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows. by the Hofman family

245 Freshly fried fresh flesh

246 There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.

247 There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!

248 Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?

249 She stood by Burgess's fish sauce shop welcoming him in.

250 Swan swam over the sea. Swim, swan, swim! Swan swam back again. Well swum swan!

251 Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.

252 She sells sea shells on the sea shore; The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure. So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore, I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells.

253 Tie twine to three tree twigs.

254 You know New York. You need New York. You know you need unique New York.

255 What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.

256 Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.

257 Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.

258 Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.

259 She slits the sheet she sits on.

260 A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

261 A twister of twists once twisted a twist. and the twist that he twisted was a three twisted twist. now in twisting this twist, if a twist should untwist, would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists.

262 Red lolly, yellow lolly.

263 I am a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants. I am the best mother pheasant plucker, that ever plucked a mother pheasant!

264 Mrs Hunt had a country cut front in the front of her country cut pettycoat.

265 Knapsack strap.

266 John, where Molly had had ""had"", had had ""had had"". ""Had had "" had had the teachers approval

267 Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.

268 Great gray goats

269 Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not. Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot. We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not.

270 Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...

271 The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!

272 There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.

273 How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?

274 Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.

275 If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock or some joker who is slicker is going to trick you of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

276 Clowns grow glowing crowns.

277 Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

278 Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers Such skill as sewing shirts Our shy young sister Suzie shows Some soldiers send epistles Say they'd rather sleep in thistles Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.

279 Red leather, yellow leather, ...

280 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

281 Announcement at Victoria Station, London: Two to two to Tooting too!

282 Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.

283 Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

284 Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better. So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter, put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better. So 'twas better Betty Botter bought some better butter.

285 A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer.

286 When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

287 What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two. Who is the author?

288 If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

289 The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!

290 She sees seas slapping shores.

291 A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule. by Ray Weisling

292 Greek grapes.

293 Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.

294 Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.

295 There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.

296 A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.

297 Never trouble about trouble until trouble troubles you!

298 Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

299 Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...

300 A smart fella, a fella smart. It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.

301 She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.

302 Admidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts.

303 Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?

304 Blue glue gun, green glue gun.

305 Betty bought some butter, but the butter Betty bought was bitter, so Betty bought some better butter, and the better butter Betty bought was better than the bitter butter Betty bought before!

306 Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...

307 Mallory's hourly salary.

308 I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.

309 Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.

310 A flea and a fly in a flue, were imprisoned. So what could they do? Said the fly, ""Let us flee"". Said the flea, ""Let us fly"". So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

311 King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb. A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb. If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb, How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?

312 Five fat friars frying flat fish.

313 The bottle of perfume that Willy sent was highly displeasing to Millicent. Her thanks were so cold that they quarreled, I'm told o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent

314 Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.

315 Betty bought some bitter butter and it made her batter bitter, so Betty bought some better butter to make her bitter batter better.

316 A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

317 I'm not the fig plucker, nor the fig pluckers' son, but I'll pluck figs Till the fig plucker comes.

318 Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts. by Pierre Abbat

319 The sixth sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.

320 Sweater weather, leather weather.

321 One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.

322 The big black bug's blood ran blue.

323 I am not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's mate. I am only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.

324 Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?

325 We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money. by Ray Weisling

326 Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...

327 If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer..... Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame, sir! We'll find you another game, sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup

328 Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.

329 Ray Rag ran across a rough road. Across a rough road Ray Rag ran. Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?

330 Elmer Arnold personal name

331 A Tudor who tooted the flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, ""Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?""

332 Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It's round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

333 Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.

334 Thin sticks, thick bricks

335 Red lorry, yellow lorry.

336 A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.

337 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wooodchuck could chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck all the wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

338 Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.

339 Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.

340 A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.

341 How much sh*t can a sh*t slinger sling If a sh*t slinger could sling sh*t? He'd sling as much sh*t as a sh*t slinger could If a sh*t slinger could sling sh*t!

342 I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

343 She sells sea shells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.

344 From the programmer's desk: She sells cshs by the C shore.

345 A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!

346 Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.

347 There was a young man called Fisher who was fishing for fish in a fissure. Then a cod with a grin pulled the fisherman in. Now they're searching the fissure for Fisher.

348 Slick slim slippers sliding south.

349 The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we sought to stay; The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we'd stay all day. The Leith police dismisseth us, We both sighed sighs apiece; And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye Were the size of the Leith police.

350 Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!

351 Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo, a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.

352 The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.

353 How much dough would Bob Dole dole if Bob Dole could dole dough? Bob Dole would dole as much dough as Bob Dole could dole, if Bob Dole could dole dough.

354 People pledging plenty of pennies.

355 Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy. From a pre-war English music-hall song.

356 To begin to toboggan first, buy a toboggan. But do not buy too big a toboggan! Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.

357 Courtney Dworkin personal name

358 Switch watch, wrist watch.

359 Six thick thistle sticks.

360 Black bug's blood

361 Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be. Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in ""Singing in the rain""

362 I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.

363 She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.

364 Irish wristwatch

365 She had shoulder surgery.

366 To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE. from the Visual C++ help file.

367 Three Tree Turtles Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters. If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters, where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?

368 My Friend Gladys Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad. Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad. But the sadness of her sadness, and the gladness of her gladness, Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!

369 I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I? You couldn't, unless you could, could you? Common school kids nonsense, circa 1910

370 real rear wheel

371 Give me the gift of a grip-top sock, A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slop From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock. Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop Tip me to a tip top grip top sock. articulation warmup for actors

372 National Sheepshire Sheep Association

373 The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.

374 The little red lorry went down Limuru road. Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.

375 Flies fly but a fly flies.

376 Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden? by Paul Davies

377 If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?

378 How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.

379 Federal Express is now called FedEx. When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex. But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec. Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex. If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec. When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.

380 Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished? by Ann Clark

381 Does this shop sport short socks with spots?

382 Customer: Do you have soothers? Shopkeeper (thinking he had said ""scissors""): No, we don't have scissors. Customer: Soothers! Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers. ... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ... actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson

383 Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. All day long he fits and tucks, all day long he tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

384 No need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.

385 I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why. From a Song by Soundgarden named ""Somewhere"" composed and written by Ben Shepherd

386 Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

387 My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays. by Tim McCauley, age 8

388 A real rare whale.

389 Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to. by Pierre Abbat

390 Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.

391 I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines. Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).

392 Kanta is a masai girl, she can tie a tie and untie a tie, if kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?

393 I'm a mother pheasant plucker. I pluck mother pheasants. I'm the pleasantest mother pheasant plucker, That ever plucked a mother pheasant. Actually, ... I'm Not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants Till the pheasant plucking 's done!

394 If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.

395 Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.

396 The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.

Compilation © 1996-2003 by Michael Reck
H.-H.-Ehrler-Weg 16/3, D-71111 Waldenbuch, Germany.
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Last update 2003-07-10